The Coffee Tree

”Now you’d better sent someone with a chainsaw to cut down this damn ugly tree or I swear to God I will burn down your business!” saying this, Nicole threw the phone on the couch. Her head was ready to explode with anger. She looked out on the window, at that awful coffee tree, laughing at her and judging her for being a single 30 years old woman. Well damn that tree! What did it know about relationships?

She calmed herself down. What was she doing before? Right when she thought about it, a splashing sound came from the bathroom. She ran there, just to see her bathroom things floating on the hallway, straight to the exit door. Of course, she forgot to turn off the water! It was the damn tree! She forgot all about the bath when she saw the tree on the window, standing there, with folded arms. Or branches.

Then she called the firemen. It was the third time in a week. What did they mean they don’t cut off trees? It was absurd. Weren’t the firemen always ready to take a cat from a tree? Why couldn’t they just cut one off? That coffee tree … it’s said it grows better with donkey poop. She didn’t have donkey poop in her backyard. She checked, and there was no donkey poop.

”Hello? Is there anybody home?”

She panicked, wearing just a towel, with water still flowing all around. What if it was a coffee thief? What if he thought that because she had one coffee tree in the backyard, she is a dealer. She couldn’t be a coffee dealer, she was blond and thin, and there were no blond thin coffee dealers.
”I am from the Firemen Departmnet, my name is Oscar Gould. I know you have a problem with a coffee tree.”
She was right, it was about the coffee.

”I am … err … Nicole Coffee. Hayflee, Nicole Hayflee!”

Due to the fireman’s unexpected hotness, she almost changed her last name to Coffee. And she still wondered why she was alone.

”Good to meet you, miss. Can you please show me the tree? ”said Oscar, the fireman.
”Sure, sure. Come with me. It is not a normal tree, it is a coffee tree, but please believe me, I do not have donkey poop in my court!” She stopped in the middle of the backyard, barefoot, wearing only a not-that-long towel, with her hair in an awful bum, screaming like a crazy old lady that she does not have donkey poop.

”I’ll go change now … ”she then said to the fireman, ”Here is the tree, I hope you have the tools … And … I’ll wait for you inside, with a cup of coffee.”
She ran upstairs, put on a short and cute dress, freed her hair, then ran back down, preparing to make a coffee, when the hot man entered the kitchen.

”Could you please tell me where the bathroom is? ”

”What happened? Are you hurt? Did the tree hurt you?”

”No, no, it’s just a scratch. I just need to wash it and I’ll continue with my job.”

”Straight ahead, first door on the left.”

She watched the man going, so brave and fearless, wounded by the damn coffee tree. Her heart was beating out of her chest. She felt so lucky! Right when she thought it, she heard a bang in the bathroom, then the fireman’s cry. She ran towards it, just to slip and to fall on the man’s feet. Nicole then remembered, she wanted to take a bubble bath, but instead her floor was a bubble bath.

”I swear to God I’m usually a normal woman!” Nicole said to Oscar.

Oscar smiled, helping her to get up. ”You called the firemen to cut down a coffee tree that doesn’t even normally grow up in this climate. Is this included in the usually normal?” He smiled, and Nicole’s heart began to skip beats.

She liked the idea of being the only woman having a coffee tree in her backyard around there. She then decided to keep the tree. Instead, she will offer a coffee to the fireman, for the trouble. Who knows, maybe they could make coffee from that tree, in a few years. Together. Yeah, it was a good plan for Nicole.